Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
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You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
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She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.