On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.