We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.