I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?