Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!