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maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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