Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.