Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.