I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
34 Tweets About Student Debt That Will Make You Laugh and Cry At The Same Time
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
14 Craigslist Ads That Will Make You Lose Your Faith in Humanity
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
32 of the Pettiest, Most Hilarious Reasons People Have Broken Up With Someone