I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I wanna bring you to show and tell
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You're my little dorito