PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.