About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists