its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Ambien. No doubt about it.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.