If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i was born a porn star she said
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.