he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
