You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
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I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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