Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.