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We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Alive.
So much puke
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
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