Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Massachusetts (978)

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  We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.

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  (978): We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment. http://tfl.nu/8gpy
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  When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one

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  I had a salad today

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  Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies

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  (978): When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one (847): I had a salad today (978): Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies http://tfl.nu/rhtj
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  I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n

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  (978): I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n http://tfl.nu/vl91
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  Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?

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  I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it

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  (774): Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down? (978): I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it http://tfl.nu/io4i
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  The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years

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  (978): The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years http://tfl.nu/zb6z
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  At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now

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  (978): At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now http://tfl.nu/9tr0
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  That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz

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  Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing

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  (518): That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz (978): Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing http://tfl.nu/v9yz
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  I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells

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  (978): I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells http://tfl.nu/uff7
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  Alive.

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  So much puke

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  (978): Alive. (978): So much puke http://tfl.nu/8jc8
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  The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.

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  Did you sleep with him again?

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  No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?

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  (978): The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me. (1-978): Did you sleep with him again? (978): No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me? http://tfl.nu/swvn
  Replies (5) Good night (321) Bad night (845)
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  I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.

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  (978): I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency. http://tfl.nu/azpx
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  It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale

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  (978): It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale http://tfl.nu/xdvd
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  Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.

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  (978): Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home. http://tfl.nu/9m9p
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  do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?

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  (978): do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man? http://tfl.nu/w8vx
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  OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING

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  (978): OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING http://tfl.nu/ds3l
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