Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was