Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl