I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
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I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
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So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur