Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.