I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.