I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
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Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.