Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (850)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick http://tfl.nu/ww0j
  Replies (11) Good night (3568) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket." http://tfl.nu/lw9r
  Replies (2) Good night (1258) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM. http://tfl.nu/agqo
  Replies (13) Good night (446) Bad night (2020) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people http://tfl.nu/zcj8
  Replies (3) Good night (1404) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever. http://tfl.nu/5f06
  Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (1516) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  ....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): ....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP http://tfl.nu/qpvz
  Replies (1) Good night (862) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today. http://tfl.nu/xq7h
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (1392) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me. http://tfl.nu/s2pe
  Replies (20) Good night (1199) Bad night (4477) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either. http://tfl.nu/w5pa
  Replies (7) Good night (649) Bad night (1931) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper. http://tfl.nu/6jx2
  Replies (14) Good night (2589) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons. http://tfl.nu/qh0d
  Replies (8) Good night (635) Bad night (2203) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out? http://tfl.nu/dwkr
  Replies (8) Good night (2978) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes. http://tfl.nu/54pv
  Replies (5) Good night (935) Bad night (2151) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day" http://tfl.nu/t1df
  Replies (25) Good night (1766) Bad night (8621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it. http://tfl.nu/y27d
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (2572) Order T-Shirt