I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.