I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.