Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (850)

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  (850): View more from Florida

  your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.

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  (850): your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing. http://tfl.nu/7ema
  Replies (11) Good night (453) Bad night (1423) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.

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  (850): I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again. http://tfl.nu/731o
  Replies (10) Good night (754) Bad night (1244) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.

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  (850): I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school. http://tfl.nu/ocap
  Replies (7) Good night (1427) Bad night (429)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.

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  (850): Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time. http://tfl.nu/840u
  Replies (17) Good night (1639) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.

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  (850): His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend. http://tfl.nu/ofwy
  Replies (10) Good night (1577) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager

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  (850): Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager http://tfl.nu/6wri
  Replies (15) Good night (436) Bad night (1637) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  hungover and i feel like a burrito

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  like eating one or like you are one?

  (850): View more from Florida

  like i am one.

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  (850): hungover and i feel like a burrito (1-850): like eating one or like you are one? (850): like i am one. http://tfl.nu/h242
  Replies (10) Good night (1992) Bad night (416)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.

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  (850): He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville. http://tfl.nu/tme9
  Replies (19) Good night (843) Bad night (2265)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.

  (850): View more from Florida

  This has already gotten way out of hand

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  (336): Two words. Shotgunning Cognac. (850): This has already gotten way out of hand http://tfl.nu/ow6e
  Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (400)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....

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  (850): No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status..... http://tfl.nu/5hnt
  Replies (9) Good night (2496) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.

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  (850): Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick. http://tfl.nu/uv5q
  Replies (6) Good night (1800) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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  (850): Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either. http://tfl.nu/kaox
  Replies (1) Good night (1041) Bad night (1587)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad

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  (850): I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad http://tfl.nu/g5mj
  Replies (8) Good night (1701) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.

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  (850): They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here. http://tfl.nu/6x4c
  Replies (3) Good night (2307) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"

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  (850): Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere" http://tfl.nu/ju0a
  Replies (9) Good night (3086) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt