Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (850)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night. http://tfl.nu/511n
  Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony? http://tfl.nu/sjtx
  Replies (10) Good night (421) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/8h92
  Replies (7) Good night (1572) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this. http://tfl.nu/urhy
  Replies (1) Good night (984) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview http://tfl.nu/suz9
  Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/659e
  Replies (12) Good night (2197) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next http://tfl.nu/slhn
  Replies (10) Good night (3479) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made. http://tfl.nu/7051
  Replies (5) Good night (1721) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through. http://tfl.nu/odn6
  Replies (7) Good night (977) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper?? http://tfl.nu/82gs
  Replies (6) Good night (1475) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award. http://tfl.nu/qxv7
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (1399)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer. http://tfl.nu/izky
  Replies (10) Good night (508) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc. http://tfl.nu/3vm7
  Replies (3) Good night (1703) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK. http://tfl.nu/rcbs
  Replies (5) Good night (1479) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer. http://tfl.nu/iky6
  Replies (22) Good night (2627) Bad night (615)