Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.