Texts From Last Night

Last Night in North Carolina (828)

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.

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  (828): I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995. http://tfl.nu/siku
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.

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  (828): Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state. http://tfl.nu/9dzb
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby

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  (828): i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby http://tfl.nu/ihl1
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  Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.

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  (828): Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end. http://tfl.nu/rcny
  Replies (27) Good night (2443) Bad night (4900) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...

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  (828): You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on... http://tfl.nu/x8fm
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  Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream

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  (828): Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream http://tfl.nu/n2ta
  Replies (12) Good night (2376) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.

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  (828): everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard. http://tfl.nu/9kw6
  Replies (7) Good night (2336) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?

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  (828): If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me? http://tfl.nu/3q2x
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  yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea

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  (828): yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea http://tfl.nu/why3
  Replies (9) Good night (2121) Bad night (1091) Order T-Shirt
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  Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.

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  (828): Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog. http://tfl.nu/3nqo
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  if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.

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  (828): if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now. http://tfl.nu/f98q
  Replies (14) Good night (1975) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
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  It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it

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  (828): It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it http://tfl.nu/e4ef
  Replies (9) Good night (1923) Bad night (302)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  There's a dead frog in my kitchen?

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  Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.

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  The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"

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  (828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen? (402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush. (402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" http://tfl.nu/9htk
  Replies (34) Good night (1918) Bad night (4487)
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  i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches

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  (828): i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches http://tfl.nu/n6i5
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?

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  (828): Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober? http://tfl.nu/zgqd
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