purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!