think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird