Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (816)

Last Night in Missouri (816)

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(816): View more from Missouri

i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex

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(816): i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex http://tfl.nu/eas7

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The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.

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Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from

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(913): The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero. (816): Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from http://tfl.nu/rsiz

Replies (9) Good night (2536) Bad night (508)
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We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.

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(816): We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly. http://tfl.nu/0x8b

Replies (6) Good night (1920) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?

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(816): We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right? http://tfl.nu/k62y

Replies (3) Good night (1664) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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(660): View more from Missouri

He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.

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Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...

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(660): He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence. (816): Your vagina must be laced with cocaine... http://tfl.nu/n747

Replies (7) Good night (1682) Bad night (655)
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.

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(816): It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/dx67

Replies (5) Good night (1344) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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(660): View more from Missouri

How did you make it to work sans hangover?

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4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols

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(660): How did you make it to work sans hangover? (816): 4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols http://tfl.nu/2csk

Replies (8) Good night (1700) Bad night (803)
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Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.

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(816): Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand. http://tfl.nu/c0ji

Replies (13) Good night (630) Bad night (1986) Order T-Shirt
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You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.

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(816): You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do. http://tfl.nu/w9t3

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this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?

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(816): this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..? http://tfl.nu/c9f0

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I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.

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(816): I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today. http://tfl.nu/j3kd

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Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka

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You're so demanding.

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(618): Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka (816): You're so demanding. http://tfl.nu/w483

Replies (3) Good night (1730) Bad night (950)
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It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.

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(816): It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain. http://tfl.nu/o28o

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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.

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Probably is probably an understatement.

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(816): It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister. (-1816): Probably is probably an understatement. http://tfl.nu/hxbu

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i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you

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(816): i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you http://tfl.nu/on8e

Replies (2) Good night (1722) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Missouri (816)

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