Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Missouri (816)

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.

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  Probably is probably an understatement.

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  (816): It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister. (-1816): Probably is probably an understatement. http://tfl.nu/hxbu
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you

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  (816): i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you http://tfl.nu/on8e
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  TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.

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  (816): TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true. http://tfl.nu/3n2b
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  no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.

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  (816): no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help. http://tfl.nu/7acp
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino

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  (816): i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino http://tfl.nu/4r5s
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila

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  (816): Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila http://tfl.nu/brdu
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm there.

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  (785): I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show. (816): I'm there. http://tfl.nu/3vob
  Replies (6) Good night (673) Bad night (966)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.

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  (816): I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird. http://tfl.nu/t4fk
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you

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  (816): You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you http://tfl.nu/d6cu
  Replies (8) Good night (765) Bad night (2553)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.

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  (816): I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions. http://tfl.nu/d3ti
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story

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  (816): If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story http://tfl.nu/6mc2
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  I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring

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  (816): I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring http://tfl.nu/n1of
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.

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  (816): Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples. http://tfl.nu/my8g
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom

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  (816): apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom http://tfl.nu/n80z
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan

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  (660): what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate? (816): um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan http://tfl.nu/0tla
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