Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (810)

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  This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle

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  (810): This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle http://tfl.nu/hm2k
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  during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"

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  (810): during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer" http://tfl.nu/avyg
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  I wanna throw up and cum in that order

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  (810): I wanna throw up and cum in that order http://tfl.nu/1c7p
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  I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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  (810): I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again http://tfl.nu/a301
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  She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.

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  (810): She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room. http://tfl.nu/nven
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  Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..

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  (810): Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall.. http://tfl.nu/5ec3
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  Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs

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  (810): Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs http://tfl.nu/dxeo
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  I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same

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  (810): I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same http://tfl.nu/4oc8
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  I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it

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  (810): I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it http://tfl.nu/y92b
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  was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?

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  (810): was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams? http://tfl.nu/die2
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  I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.

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  (810): I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck. http://tfl.nu/kfpi
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  My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?

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  creepy.

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  (810): My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago? (1-810): creepy. http://tfl.nu/125x
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  I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.

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  Holy shittt I don't even have a bf

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  (810): I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half. (1-810): Holy shittt I don't even have a bf http://tfl.nu/57lu
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  According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

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  (810): According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant. http://tfl.nu/aq1y
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  its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU

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  (810): its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU http://tfl.nu/okh4
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