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This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
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