I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk