In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex