I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here