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I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
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