Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (720)

Last Night in Colorado (720)

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I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.

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(720): I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned. http://tfl.nu/lcb4

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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.

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Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.

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I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.

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I rest my case.

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(720): ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO. (1-720): Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving. (720): I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW. (720): I rest my case. http://tfl.nu/ktzi

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You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.

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(720): You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist. http://tfl.nu/dze0

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The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?

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(720): The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer? http://tfl.nu/dm5m

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I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.

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(720): I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation. http://tfl.nu/ssju

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Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.

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(720): Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober. http://tfl.nu/o1fz

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Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.

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(720): Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description. http://tfl.nu/i5hv

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By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.

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(720): By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air. http://tfl.nu/rzj6

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At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years

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(720): At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years http://tfl.nu/t2xh

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That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer

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(720): That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer http://tfl.nu/lbub

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Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love

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(720): Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love http://tfl.nu/8heh

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Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.

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(720): Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress. http://tfl.nu/3c0t

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Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups

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(720): Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups http://tfl.nu/s3s5

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Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.

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(720): Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me. http://tfl.nu/g5ss

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I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.

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God I adore you.

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(720): I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night. (303): God I adore you. http://tfl.nu/8nlv

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Last Night in Colorado (720)

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