You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix