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After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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