i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom