Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (708)

Last Night in Illinois (708)

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How much did you drink?

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Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea

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(630): How much did you drink? (708): Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea http://tfl.nu/hfkt

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is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?

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head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way

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(708): is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower? (1-708): head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way http://tfl.nu/d98n

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Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.

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(708): Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea. http://tfl.nu/kw7e

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what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?

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(708): what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in? http://tfl.nu/gh3z

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Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?

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(708): Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/sg75

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she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.

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Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.

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(309): she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me. (708): Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you. http://tfl.nu/his2

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I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.

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Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.

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(773): I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal. (708): Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks. http://tfl.nu/2r2v

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you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato

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(708): you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato http://tfl.nu/7tnq

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Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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(708): Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him? http://tfl.nu/nbty

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You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.

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Was who let the dogs out playing?

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Ya. You started barking when it ended

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(708): You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving. (1-708): Was who let the dogs out playing? (708): Ya. You started barking when it ended http://tfl.nu/fyl8

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My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.

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(708): My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with. http://tfl.nu/rm3v

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Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.

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(708): Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night. http://tfl.nu/vsww

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We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance

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(708): We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance http://tfl.nu/osk3

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What are you doing and how can I add sex in there

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(708): What are you doing and how can I add sex in there http://tfl.nu/rphe

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They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters

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(708): They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters http://tfl.nu/nwd9

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Last Night in Illinois (708)

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