Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.