Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on