Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.