You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.