Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (616)

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.

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  (616): Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry. http://tfl.nu/rf2y
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  Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.

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  (616): Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life. http://tfl.nu/u6ny
  Replies (7) Good night (1228) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.

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  100%

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  (616): I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners. (648): 100% http://tfl.nu/zuxh
  Replies (9) Good night (384) Bad night (2119)
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  I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.

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  (616): I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady. http://tfl.nu/ufs6
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  Shame tastes like burnetts and latex

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  (616): Shame tastes like burnetts and latex http://tfl.nu/ptq8
  Replies (7) Good night (706) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
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  This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.

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  (616): This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room. http://tfl.nu/k8xh
  Replies (16) Good night (2618) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.

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  (616): She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs. http://tfl.nu/e8xn
  Replies (6) Good night (1693) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D

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  (616): I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D http://tfl.nu/kf4w
  Replies (8) Good night (2244) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...

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  (616): I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am... http://tfl.nu/z53a
  Replies (18) Good night (1401) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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  Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.

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  (616): Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless. http://tfl.nu/4zx2
  Replies (8) Good night (666) Bad night (1918) Order T-Shirt
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  All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.

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  (616): All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good. http://tfl.nu/bkrn
  Replies (2) Good night (3114) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US

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  Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.

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  (616): I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US (+44): Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange. http://tfl.nu/699w
  Replies (2) Good night (1827) Bad night (366)
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  I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...

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  (616): I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"... http://tfl.nu/nha2
  Replies (18) Good night (747) Bad night (5984) Order T-Shirt
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  Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.

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  (616): Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind. http://tfl.nu/1wb4
  Replies (8) Good night (1907) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.

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  (616): I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood. http://tfl.nu/i8nf
  Replies (9) Good night (4188) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt