Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (609)

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore

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  (609): just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore http://tfl.nu/abxm
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  You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.

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  (609): You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics. http://tfl.nu/ug0s
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  That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.

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  (609): That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me. http://tfl.nu/oade
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  in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is

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  (609): in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is http://tfl.nu/8llu
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  I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not

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  (609): I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not http://tfl.nu/tjy5
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  friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.

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  (609): friends don't let friends hook up with gingers. http://tfl.nu/lykv
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  So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked

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  (609): So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked http://tfl.nu/vy3r
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  not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies

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  (609): not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies http://tfl.nu/jxw6
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  My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.

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  (609): My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well. http://tfl.nu/p8ga
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  Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow

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  Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow

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  (609): Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow (802): Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow http://tfl.nu/mba8
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  I haven't been this sober since birth.

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  (609): I haven't been this sober since birth. http://tfl.nu/qg8c
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  People in love make me want to vomit

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  (609): People in love make me want to vomit http://tfl.nu/3x4v
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  So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

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  i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

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  ravioli

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  (609): So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up (1-609): i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one (609): ravioli http://tfl.nu/eoaw
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  apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink

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  (609): apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink http://tfl.nu/9o16
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  My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.

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  (609): My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance. http://tfl.nu/4x77
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