Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
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Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps