And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious