I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.