Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Mexico (505)

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  I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD

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  (505): I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD http://tfl.nu/div0
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  I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?

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  (505): I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet? http://tfl.nu/aavq
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  pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice

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  (505): pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice http://tfl.nu/a73k
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  KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.

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  (505): KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS. http://tfl.nu/ef79
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  Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?

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  (505): Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away? http://tfl.nu/yzva
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  She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night

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  (505): She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night http://tfl.nu/ai6j
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  I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.

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  (505): I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub. http://tfl.nu/yxnr
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  Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..

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  (505): Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore.. http://tfl.nu/qq6k
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  Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3

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  (505): Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3 http://tfl.nu/ef92
  Replies (5) Good night (611) Bad night (881)
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  I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room

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  (505): I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room http://tfl.nu/d90t
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  I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened

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  (505): I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened http://tfl.nu/wwzi
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  The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.

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  (505): The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila. http://tfl.nu/7hos
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  We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.

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  (505): We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon. http://tfl.nu/nv69
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  Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out

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  (505): Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out http://tfl.nu/4j6r
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  I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having

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  (505): I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having http://tfl.nu/8kbk
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