I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We're too hungover to prance.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
my nose is crying tears of wow.