Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Bring me that man meat
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.