Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (313)

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

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  (313): I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan. http://tfl.nu/kp2g
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  ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?

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  (313): ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too? http://tfl.nu/07vv
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  Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker

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  (313): Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker http://tfl.nu/hydd
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  How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...

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  (313): How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka... http://tfl.nu/gnte
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  Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.

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  (313): Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup. http://tfl.nu/5rlq
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  I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding

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  (313): I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding http://tfl.nu/qljv
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  I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was

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  you're 26.

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  (313): I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was (734): you're 26. http://tfl.nu/eh0f
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  I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.

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  (313): I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son. http://tfl.nu/7jxb
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  I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.

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  (313): I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city. http://tfl.nu/cnew
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  Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.

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  (313): Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career. http://tfl.nu/jur5
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  4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.

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  (313) 4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/kzwc
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  if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it

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  (313): if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it http://tfl.nu/hc23
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  I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.

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  (313): I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6. http://tfl.nu/0yci
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  And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono

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  (313): And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono http://tfl.nu/k8o2
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  Im at strip club and am horny

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  (313): Im at strip club and am horny http://tfl.nu/rj7w
  Replies (8) Good night (848) Bad night (1678) Order T-Shirt