Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (313)

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  well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails

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  (313): well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails http://tfl.nu/6yhu
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  We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.

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  (313): We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn. http://tfl.nu/k4mq
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  sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test

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  but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.

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  (313): sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test (1-313): but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know. http://tfl.nu/w4h7
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  Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.

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  (313): Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch. http://tfl.nu/eota
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  so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...

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  (313): so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal... http://tfl.nu/prbt
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  Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.

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  (313): Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever. http://tfl.nu/w4r8
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  Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

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  She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

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  (313): Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award? (734): She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy. http://tfl.nu/0kwr
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  Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that

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  (313): Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that http://tfl.nu/fftq
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  Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.

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  (313): Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg. http://tfl.nu/ll5x
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  sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm

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  (313): sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm http://tfl.nu/q0uy
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  so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?

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  (313): so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room? http://tfl.nu/p8ry
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  That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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  (313): That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve. http://tfl.nu/vdk5
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  Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.

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  (313): Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite. http://tfl.nu/pt3f
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  I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING

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  (313): I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING http://tfl.nu/0fad
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  An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....

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  (313): An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it.... http://tfl.nu/pvzg
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