If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have post one night stand depression
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