I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)