as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Slut skills are useful in every country.