Slut skills are useful in every country.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.