Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oregon (971)

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  :O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"

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  (971): :O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out" http://tfl.nu/uf6x
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  I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.

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  (971): I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex. http://tfl.nu/gyof
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  I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.

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  Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.

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  (971): I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it. (971): Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated. http://tfl.nu/1c8f
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  There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.

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  (971): There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home. http://tfl.nu/78m4
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  I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

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  (971): I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one. http://tfl.nu/nv72
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  I have two black x marks on my hands.

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  Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'

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  damnit I wish I could remember that.

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  (971): I have two black x marks on my hands. (503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here' (971): damnit I wish I could remember that. http://tfl.nu/kz4a
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