Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?