I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
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Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
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I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.