Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON