I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.